Dear Reader
by Fernheart95
Summary: Garfield logan is left alone in this cruel world when the rest of the team has passed on. murdered? who knows. these are his letters to you asking for your ear / eyes .
1. Letter 1

(January 1st)

Dear Reader,

It's been a week now. A long.. Lonely week. Although I've been given a lot of attention from the police and social services, I still feel alone.

I'm sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Garfield. I like comic books, manga, and video games… but that doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't "apply" anymore, at least not to my life. Last week I lost four of my best friends. They were my family, my life. Everything I did, I did it for them. And now.. All of that work for nothing. Nothing but what I've experienced all before. I am alone…

I did not find your address in a phone book. I was not told of who you are. I know nothing about you. I am simply writing this to you… to not feel hopeless? Perhaps more than that. I just want to know that someone is here to listen.

Will you listen? Will you be my hope?

Yours truly,

Gar

**AN: this idea was givin' to me while reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" it's a great book, i suggest you read it.**

**the date is at the top so you know when he wrote the letters, it's not that actual date i wrote it myself.**

**only positive reviews please. **


	2. Letter 2

(January 4th)

Dear Reader,

He used to call me grass stain. We used to laugh together. I haven't laughed since I don't know when.

I hope I'm not bothering you; Interrupting you when your busy. I just needed to tell someone this. I miss him. I miss them all.

"They" took me away. Away from my home. Our home. I live with my parents again. But they're not really my parents. Not by birth. And he's not… not very father like. I wish I could tell him this. I wish he already knew. I need him. But I love my mom. She tries to cheer me up, but it's too soon.

I miss him. All of them.

So close to Christmas…

Yours Truly,

Gar


	3. Letter 3 Memories

(January 5th)

Dear Reader,

I cried today. Not because of what had happened. Mom and Dad had a fight. Over me. It's all my fault, everything. I could have saved my real parents. I could have kept Tara, my ex. I could have saved them.

Rachel.

Victor.

Dick.

Kori.

I sat in the kitchen, at the table. I didn't have food. I haven't been hungry lately. That worries Mom a lot, which worries Dad. Again, my fault.

The light was switched to dim because I had sore eyes. I heard voices from the living room. Mom and Dad. They were arguing. I sat quietly to listen.

"But I'm worried about him. He's not ready." that was Mom.

"He's always been ready. He proved that long ago!"

"But he could get hurt!" Mom was scared, I could feel it in the air.

I'm sure you don't want to hear this. It's depressing. It's scary. They're pushing me. Too hard. Too fast. I'm not ready. Not yet. I need time. I can't go back to being who I was before. Is it that I'm not ready, or is it that I don't want to? I don't know.

I don't know…

They continued to fight, but I went to my room, covering my ears. I cried. An hour? Two hours? I lost track. I'd rather not remember.

After that I laid in bed. Quiet. I heard them. Not Mom, or Dad. I smiled, a real smile.

And now, here, I sit in my room, at my desk, writing this letter to you. I would tell you what I heard, what I remembered, but I don't want you to know me. Not who I once was.

I just want you to know who I am now.

Yours Truly,

Grass Stain

**AN: Getting to know Gar a little more. the chapters will gradually become more intimate in his life, rather than his little side notes. **


	4. Letter 4 Love

(January 7th)

Dear Reader,

I know what love is.

It is not the butterflies you feel the first time you kiss a girl. It is not sex, or even watching your favorite show.

It is the pain you feel in your whole body, when everything falls apart. When they died, I found out what love is. I will never forget it.

A distraction, finally.

Dad took me out driving. I was too nervous and he got frustrated. He yelled. I know he didn't mean to. Especially when I started to cry. I've never cried in front of him. Not like this.

He touched my shoulder. He cared.

Yours Truly,

Green Genes

**AN: sorry this one's so short. i thought of it while lying in bed. :) next one i promise will be longer than the others.**


	5. Letter 5

**AN: when you recieve the letter it has claw marks on it.**

(January 8th)

Dear Reader,

"That is for me to know, and you to find out." …on my own?

Who said that? I hate them. The police are just like that.

On the 2nd it was the girls' funerals. On the 3rd it was the mens'. and I never saw them. They wouldn't even let me see them in the morgue.

Ugh! I'm so angry!

They lie! They come up with things. To keep me sane? I am not sane. Not right now.

I did not write to you on the dates of the funerals because I was not sane. I was not human. Nor animal.

Zombies aren't so bad, right?

Anyways, I bought a book today. A comic book. I find I can relate. I felt more like myself. Well, earlier today at least.

Yours Truly,

Gar

**AN: haha ok, so this isn't even close to being longer than the others. so i lied. i wrote this one after i posted the 4th letter. and no Gar, Zombies aren't so bad. look at Fido! :)**


	6. Letter 6

(January 10th)

Dear Reader,

I love coffee!

So lately I haven't been able to sleep. I've been having nightmares. They always start out happy. "Hey Gar!" Dick would say. "wanna play some Stank Ball?" that's a game me and Vic came up with. The ball is made up of all the dirty things we could find in my room. I am not happy. I am just hyper. Can you tell?

Anyways. I would say "Sure, let me get Vic." and so I would. I would find him in his room working on some crazy invention. We would meet Dick up on the roof. But just when we start to play, things go wrong.

The house would begin to crumble. Vic would fall, than Dick. The sky would turn red and start to rain blood. Their blood. I would catch the blood in my hand, and when I look down at it… I would see a monster.

That's when I wake up.. Always the same dream.

So last night I stayed up. I snuck into the kitchen while Steve and Rita were asleep and made myself my first cup of coffee. I hated it. Have you ever tried that stuff? Yuck! But I loved the feeling it gave me. So all night I sat in the kitchen, drinking coffee. Cup after cup.

I started to write you a letter several times but I got distracted. Every time I started to feel depressed I made stronger coffee. It was probably the most fun I've had in… how long has it been?

Looking back at this letter I realize I've been way off topic of what I wanted to tell you.

Yesterday…

Yesterday I went to Rachel's grave. I brought her flowers. Don't know if she ever liked flowers. I knelt down and spoke with her a long time. I told her about you. How you were listening.

"I really hope you're listening too Rae.."

I think I stayed there all day. It was nice for once. Quiet. I waited… I wanted to hear them again. But I didn't. I left around five. When I came home Mom was worried about me. I had forgotten to tell her where I was going.

My Bad.

I would love to keep writing but I'm starting to feel sick.

Yours Truly,

Gar

**AN: i figured it would hurt your poor little hearts if you read another letter from Gar that just droned on about his miserable life. so i decided to lighten the mood up. at least a little. here now, he is getting back into human mode. zombies are over rated anyways. **

**by the way, thank you to all the support from anyone who has posted a review so far. i probably wouldn't be continueing this if it weren't for your love of Garfield's wonderfully miserable life. :)**


	7. Letter 7

(January 12th)

Dear Reader,

I've been thinking… you probably want to know how it all happened.

I suppose I should tell you. But I'm not sure if you're ready. I wish you could write me back, but I must keep my address hidden from prying eyes. And I'm too afraid to find out if you're actually listening or not. I can't really earn your trust this way, huh?

This is only the seventh letter, isn't it? Not much..

You know, I've never really thought about it but.. I kind of want to be an actor. I can be a 16 year old actor right? Oh, I'm guessing you didn't know I was only 16.

Yup, that's me, the crazy depressed teen, writing letters to some stranger.

No… I don't want to be depressed. Lets just call this mourning.

I've always hated those commercials. You know, the ones with the sad lady and the creepy toy of her. "Depression hurts everyone."

I don't want to hurt anyone. Not my friends. My family.

I don't want to hurt you.

Yours Truly,

Gar

Ps. I smiled at myself in the mirror this morning.

**AN: this one's so short so i decided 2 chapters in one day isn't that bad. i kind of just typed this up to have one ready. and i wanted to show a little progress in our little Garfield's healing. **

**and of course, he added the ps cause he didn't want to leave you worried. he loves you ya know. :)**

**my mission for you guys: smile at yourself in the mirror some time. **


	8. Letter 8 Answers

(January 13th)

Dear Reader,

Suicide.

They told me everything.

He had killed himself. He was in too much pain. He offed himself in order to save himself.

What he didn't know, is that I was only so far away. I would have saved him.

So I went to his grave. I did not bring flowers. No balloons. Nothing. I needed answers. I sat down in the grass in front of him.

"Dick…why'd you do it?" I couldn't see what was in front of my face. It was all a blur. I never thought he would do something so drastic. I never thought… he would give up. For him, to give in.. it's not like him.

Of course, he didn't answer. I have no idea what kind of pain he was in, that made him make this decision. I tried, and am still trying, not to be mad at him for it. Not even I would do something so horrible. If only even it was just him to survive with me, things wouldn't be so hard.

And yet… I still blame myself.

"I wish you were here." I leaned forward, feeling the tears like a waterfall. "I can't do this alone."

Am I alone? Please tell me I'm not alone.

I went home. In the bathroom, I wiped my eyes. The same mirror I smiled in just a day ago. I climbed into bed. The clock said it was only noon. I didn't care. Nothing was worth it.

I fell asleep. I slept for a while. When I woke it was five. But I still didn't get out of bed. My stomach screamed for food. Nope. I stayed.

Mom came in to check on me. I told her I was sick. She left to get the thermometer. That's when I thought about you.

And some reason, the thought of you brought my eyes to my pen. Than to my paper. _should I write a letter?_ I thought. But I really did feel sick.

_Dick…_

Please tell me I'm not alone.

Your Always,

Gar

**AN: ok, so there goes all hope of progress.**


	9. Letter 9 Google Sucks

(January 16th)

Dear Reader,

25 days…

I can't help but think it's all a dream. The past few days have been a blur. Until this morning…

I walked into the living room right as Mom sad "I think Gar should go to school." I immediately turned around.

I must tell you. I am a freak. Not like what you would normally think a freak, Goth, punk, or just the plain freaky kids. I have… different color skin. It's very noticeable, and a terrible thing to have around, well, Douche bag high school kids.

I had to come up with a plan. A reason not to go to school. But it would have to require being who I once was. Am I ready?

When I walked back into the room, Mom and Dad were sitting on the couch. "uh, guys." they looked at me. Crap. This is going to be harder than I thought. "I want to live with Karen and Roy." they didn't look happy.

Karen, Roy, Garth, and of course, the Twins. We were all friends. Since the incident I haven't spoken to them. Which they've tried to contact me several times. I wonder if they're worried about me.

"Gar, are you sure?" Mom looked concerned. At least I know she cares. I nodded. She looked at Dad, who nodded too. But all hope was drained from me when she shook her head. "I'm not sure it's safe for you Garfield." _of course it's safe. I can take care of myself!_

"I understand." was all I said. Spazzing at her would only make matters worse. I went to my room and to my laptop. Yup, that's right. I got my own laptop.

For the heck of it, and to take my mind off things, I googled myself. Unfortunately I found too much. Stuff I had never wanted anyone, not even myself to know. It really just made situations worse.

I'm not using the internet for a while.

Yours Truly,

The Biologist's Son

**AN: Okay! back to progress. our little boy is growing up. *tear* and of course, a hint of Gar remembering his past, and his lovely parents. stupid google. the next chapter will be a little bit different. which basically means, completely different. **


	10. Robin

(December 23rd)

The snow was coming down hard, and the boy could barely see a foot in front of him. Brother Blood had escaped prison. He had sent his team out in the storm to find him with the familiar phrase everyone has come to know and love. "Titans, Go!"

Now the storm was too much, his communicator was jammed of any signal. Where was his team? Had they found Blood? The Boy Wonder didn't even know where he was stepping. Tripping every few steps, he finally found shelter. An old warehouse, walls made of steel. It was falling apart.

He assumed they were just a few miles out of the city limits. He tried his communicator again. "Beast Boy! Raven? Anyone!" still nothing. He was becoming anxious. "Maybe this was a bad I-"

There was a sound from behind that cut him off. He swung himself around in a fighting stance. No one was there.

"ahh!" he fell to his knees, clutching his head. "Get out of my head!" he screamed. He knew Blood would use his mind tricks, but he never thought of how painful they would be.

_Your worthless!_

He stopped and looked around. "Who said that?"

_It's me you fool!_

"Me who?' he asked out loud. The voice was just a whisper, yet he knew it wasn't Brother Blood.

_Over here._

Robin got to his feet, still with one hand to his head, and wandered to where the voice was coming from.

_Down here._

He looked down into a shard of broken glass. "What?.." he knelt down and looked. Only his reflection. But it looked different. It looked angry. Than it spoke.

_Your worthless. You sent your team out to their deaths!_

Robin jumped back, dropping the shard. "oh god. Blood get out of my head!"

He screamed at the walls, the ceiling. Where was the mega-mind villain? The boy was beginning to panic. Was his team dead?

He heard a laugh from up in the rafters. Brother Blood leapt down, landing only 2 maybe 3 feet away from Robin. "Get out of my head." Robin spoke, anger rising fast.

"get out of your head? I'm not in your head. You are." the villain smirked. His white hair blowing slightly from the draft coming from the open door and gaps in the walls.

Robin stepped back. _I'm not scared. _he told himself. But he couldn't help it. The man was quite intimidating. "What do you want from me?" he asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking. Brother Blood just smiled. Than Robin remembered his utility belt. _You idiot!_ he scorned himself. He reached for a weapon but couldn't find anything. Risking a glance down he noticed everything was gone. He looked around and saw his weapons scattered. Blood had used his Telekinesis.

When he looked back up Blood was gone. "Shit!" he ran for the door, only to find more snow and no foot prints. He checked the rafters. Nothing.

_Pathetic!_

No! he grabbed his head again.

_You failed Dick! Your team is dead. Your parents are dead. And no one's here to comfort you. Not even Bruce._

"NO!" the boy screamed. It was all coming back. He could see them fall. he could see the look of disappointment on Bruce's face when ever he failed. He could see blood. Red across white.

"What?" he blinked a few times and got his concience back, but barely. He felt excruciating pain. It came from his wrists. He looked down. "No."

All the while his freaking out, he had slit his wrists on that shard of glass. Brother Blood's reflection shown in it, smiling. "no…"

_Yes._

**AN: Poor Robin. Blood's a bully! well i hope you all liked it. it helps clear up some of BB's past incident and how Robin committed "Suicide." **


	11. Letter 10

(January 20th)

Dear Reader,

I am not at home right now. Garth came by last night and took me home with him. Thank god. I'm sure all day Mom and Dad were freaking out. Maybe tomorrow I'll call them and tell them I'm ok.

I was so excited and relieved. They had a spare room for me already made up. I stayed in my room all day today. When they knocked on my door, I told them I'd be out later.

When I finally came out I thought Karen was never going to let me go. Man she has a strong hug. They offered me food, movies, books. Just about anything they saw in the room I guess.

I turned down everything. I sat at their table and watched Roy and the Twins fight over little things. Roy ordered Fish tacos for dinner and Garth freaked out. Karen attempted to fix the broken DVD player with one of the twins on her head.

Life was almost normal. But I couldn't help seeing them… Vic would be arguing with Karen about the DVD player. "No, this goes here!" I would be on Garth's side with the fish tacos deal. But I didn't feel myself enough to join in. Dick would have his music blasting to drown out everyone's fighting. Kory would be mentioning something about friendship while Rachel tried to meditate.

All of it hit me too fast. I started to cry.

"Gar?" Karen ran over to me. "What's wrong?" that's when everyone else surrounded me.

"What do you think is wrong? Get away from me!" I couldn't help myself. Death and Closter phobia don't mix. They backed away a bit and I stood up. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok. We understand." Roy wasn't convincing me one bit.

"you don't understand…" was all I said as I walked to my room.

Now I'm sitting here on my bed, writing to you in the old notebook I found under the bed. I am getting better but it is slow.

It has to get worse before it gets better.

Yours till the day I die,

Garfield

**AN: so yesterday i had a Teen Titans marathon with my friend. over 12 hours of sitting in front of a tv. anyways, it took me a while to get back into letter mode for this. hope you like it. and love your guys reviews.**


	12. Letter 11 Arrows and Bonding

**When you recieve the letter it comes with a single green feather.**

(January 21st)

Dear Reader,

Today Roy tried to distract me from my misery. He decided to teach me how to make an arrow. Like I'm ever going to use that.

He busted into my room and urged me to get dressed. Which was pretty awkward since it was the first time in a while I decided to sleep in only my boxers. And no they're not pink. They're blue.

Once dressed, with him out of the room of course, he dragged me to the shop room. Whish is down a few flights of stairs, painfully if dragged. The room is pretty big, for only having the equipment needed for arrow building. If that's what it is called. In one corner, thin already cut wooden sticks. There were several carving knives by that. _Sharp objects. Just what I need…_ now mind you, these are just regular arrows. Roy make's all kinds.

"This is just the basic stuff." Roy repeated to me for like the third time. Does he think I'm dumb? He lead me to the sticks. He showed me how to pick a nice one and to carve up a nice tip for the head to go on.

After many tries and the lives of several bandages on my fingers, I managed to cut just right. He than took me over to the arrowheads. We skipped the trick heads. Don't need anything to blow up in my face.

"Now there are several you can choose from here." he spoke like an expert. Well, he is an expert. "Metal, bone, or rock." his hand waved over the boxes of choices as he spoke. Now I do love animals but the thought of a deer bone arrow head was pretty cool.

I grabbed one and he smiled. "Good choice."

We sat at a saw-dusty table and he showed me how to screw on the head. It wasn't as hard as carving, and no cuts came from the screwdriver.

"Your doing good, Gar." he looked up at me. I felt awkward and looked away. He didn't seem to mind that I didn't want to talk about any past events. Just the present, for now.

"Now here." he instructed how to make a notch at the tail end of the the arrow. He had to use the knife on mine cause I didn't want any more cuts. Once it was the right shape the arrow was finished. Well almost. We measured and carved off a little more for speed.

Now came the fun part. Decorations. He helped me strap some green feathers onto the end of my arrow and some to the shaft for the extra hold. A green arrow. Heh.

"you wanna use this?" he looked down at me.

"No way. I'm not killing anything!" he laughed. I guess I laughed too, a little bit. This made Roy smile. Well, I guess it still feels good to make someone smile.

I went to my room with my arrow and it's hanging on my wall now. It looks cool and I'm proud of it. For the rest of today I didn't feel depressed. I didn't think of the past. I just thought of the present. And how wonderful my family is.

Yours Truly,

Gar

**AN:yay more healing! and lots of Speedy!**


	13. Letter 12

(January 24th)

Dear Reader,

The past few days haven't gone well at all. Today I couldn't take it. I stayed in my room. And I thought… bad things.

The arrow has a sharp tip. I could do it fast. It wouldn't hurt for long, it would be over quick. To the wrists. To the throat. It doesn't matter.

Nothing matters… does it?

You don't listen to me, do you? You're probably not even reading the letters. Right? It doesn't matter to you what happens to me… right? Please tell me I'm wrong.

I don't want to be me anymore. I don't want this skin, this hair, this fur! I can't take it. I'm losing myself. Is it just me? Is the world spinning faster or slower? I can't tell… is it even spinning?

…

I took a break… I reread the first half of this letter about five times and decided I will not erase it. It is there forever. It is proof.

Proof that I am human. I am still here, questioning everything. I am still here. Here to stay.

Still here tomorrow,

Gar

PS: I think I'll get a dog.

**AN: short and sad. but it did end with a random thoguht from our little beast. **

**and thank you to The Pluotmite for telling me about Would it Matter by Skillet. it is what got rid of my writer's block and replaced it with this chapter.**


	14. Letter 13

(January 26th)

Dear Reader,

Is it wrong to miss her?… Tara…

It was over a year ago since we last spoke. Over 3 months since I last saw her. I am over her, but I still miss her friendship. She understood me. No one else ever has.

That is why I want a dog. Unconditional love. They love you like you're God.. I wish I was God. I would take my own life instead, and have let them survive.

But I am human. Even if I was a dog, I would still feel this pain.

I cannot escape it. This reality I've come to know… as my life. I would ask you to switch lives for a day but, I don't want you to ever know what this feels like. I want you to be safe, happy. You are not the person who reads my letters. You are my friend. And at this point, you are my only friend.

I will name my dog Tara.

Your Friend,

kijani kijana

**AN: Kijani Kijana means Green Boy is Swahili. but shh, you're not supposed to know he's green. .. this chapter is like extra short cause i'm getting sick and don't have the attention span for anything longer to be written. and i also have homework for the first time in a month.**


	15. Letter 14

(January 30th)

Dear Reader,

It sucks to be sick. I've been laying in this bed all day. Karen's come in ten times at least to check on me. I'm actually a lot better than earlier but, I just don't wanna get out of bed. It's nice in here. Besides, here in the east it snows. And today it's snowing and I hate the cold.

Garth came in this morning, he said, "Hey Gar c'mon. it's snowing! Don't ya wanna see it?" ugh… snow…

"No.." I mumbled and turned away, pulling all my blankets with me.

He stepped by my bed. "Well when are you getting that dog you've been talking about?" great, trying to make an excuse to get me out of bed.

"I'll get it when it's warm!"

Garth gave me a look. "In 3 months?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll hibernate." he laughed and eventually left my room. I'm just glad there's no windows in this room. I hate snow. I hate the look of it too. And I left my winter jacket back at home anyway…

Kory never got cold.

Well I finally got up, to write to you. Guess I should go out there and tell them I'm still alive.

Yours Truly,

Gar

**AN: i knew i needed to update so i typed this one up for you guys.**


	16. Letter 15 Video Games and Secrets

(February 2nd)

Dear Reader,

I walked in on something I never wanted see in my life. No, it was not sex.

Everything this morning seemed normal. I was even in a better mood. I was not sick anymore and I was even willing to step outside in the snow. I played video games for a while with the twins. Then Karen asked me to go get Roy for lunch.

I walked to his room, the door was open just a crack. I peaked in and there he was. The light was dim but he was still visible, syringe in hand. He had a short rope of rubber tied to the upper part of his arm, so the vein would pop out. I saw him stick the needle in.

I could smell it. Heroin.

I wanted desperately to go in and stop him, but you cannot cure an addict of such powerful drugs. I stepped away.

I should have told Karen, or even Garth. "He's not hungry." I told her when I got back to the living room. I played video games for a bit, trying to get my mind off things. It did not work.

I want desperately to go visit their graves, to speak to them. But they are on the other side of the continent. So all I have is you.

Yours Truly,

Gar

**AN: some of you may deny it, but it is true. Roy Harper is a drug addict. :(**


	17. Letter 16

(February 4th)

Dear Reader,

They found him in separate pieces. He was my best friend, and out of all of them, he knew me best.

Sometimes Google does come in use. I did my research. Being the son of two biologists has its benefits. I researched them all. Not only their deaths, but their pasts too.

Victor had lost his mother. But his father was still alive. I wanted to know more, but I couldn't find much else, and was soon interrupted by Karen. I turned my monitor off before she could see anything.

"Are you hungry Gar?" she asked as she walked up behind me. I turned to her and I smiled. She smiled back. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Thank you." I followed her to the kitchen. The others were out on business running errands and such, so it was just the two of us. It was nice. We sat quietly and ate sandwiches. After a while I spoke up. "I've decided I'm not getting a dog.."

Karen looked up at me. "Why not?"

"Why would I need to bring a new friend into my life when I have you guys?" I gave her a big smile. She smiled back, with tears in her eyes.

Yours Truly,

Gar

**AN: this took a while to come up with. i've been thinking alot about one shots lately, and Terra won't leave my mind, so i might work on something with her while i wait for ideas to come to me on this story. **

**i am also writing a Young Justice story with a friend. check it out please. you can find it on this site. On Fiery Wings by Soul Of The Sky**


	18. News Travels Fast

(December 24th)

The girl sat at her desk in her bedroom, checking over her Christmas break homework. Her long blonde hair hung down, a distraction at the least. Her blue eyes shook slightly with the concentration. There was a quiet knock on her door, breaking all means of her effort. The teen girl sighed and slowly got up and opened her door.

Her foster brother stood in the hallway. His blonde hair hung over one eye, leaving one caramel sphere looking at her. The boy had a worried expression.

"Is something wrong?" she asked him in a soft voice. The two never had a reason to fight except over video games.

"You have to see this." he said bluntly and disappeared down the hall. She quickly followed her brother down the winding steps, into the wood-floored family room. Their younger 12 year old foster sister sat on the couch, eyes glued to the TV. Soon the brother's eyes were glued too.

Tara stood next to her brother Val. She could not believe what she was watching.

Channel 7 local news. Red and blue lights flashed as the bodies were lifted, on stretchers, into the back of an ambulance. Their faces were covered. They had not survived. The bottom of the screen scrolled a reel of words. Tara found it hard to read through her panicking vision.

_Death of Four Titans. _

_December 25__th__ 1:00 AM_

Valen X Rediro sat in the quiet of his room. The only light was the computer monitor. He scrolled through the research. Robin. Raven. Cyborg. Starfire. How could this be? These teens were untouchable. Who could have possible killed the famous Teen Titans?

Val ran his fingers through his hair. He couldn't help but feel bad for the Heroes. After all they've been through… He got to his feet and headed to his bed. He couldn't take much more research for the night. Tomorrow was a big holiday and everyone's minds will be at a loss. Everyone's heroes had been struck down at last.

He plopped onto his stomach with a thump. The soft sheets did not comfort his racing mind and static nerves. He drifted into sleep, the image of the belt that hung over the bed frame still clear in his mind. The red x haunted his dreams.

**AN: well this explains alot. a whole new twist to the story.**


	19. Letter 17 Sparring

(February 7th)

Dear Reader,

I hurt…

I learned a valuable lesson today. I just don't remember what it was.

Today Garth wanted to spar, so not to be rude, I accepted his offer. It's been months since I did any physical activety, so let me tell you, it did not end well. I am way out of shape. Of course, Garth apologized, several times. I accepted his apologies and told him it was no big deal.

I realized the people around me are babying me. Oh, yeah, that's it. Here, lets start over.

I learned a valuable lesson today. I can take care of myself… that doesn't sound right. Eh, close enough.

Well I'm going out tonight with Karen and Garth, so I'll have to pack this letter up and take it to the post office now. With whatever's going on with you, I hope all is well.

Yours Truly,

Gar

**AN: this is short, and the letters will be get shorter too, but the chapters will get longer. soon the letters will be compined with the other chapter so you can see the action, then hear Gar vent about it.**


	20. Cyborg

(December 23rd)

He wiped the never ending snow from his eyes. He could not see anything but endless white. If it were not for his GPS built into his arm, he would be completely lost. The communicators were down, it was up to him to find the others. And Brother Blood.

It had only been a couple of months since Cyborg was caught by Blood, impersonating a student in his Academy. Apparently the old Priest had bigger plans to come.

Step by heavy step, Cyborg made his way toward what his GPS assumed was an old warehouse. He did not bother to look up the details. His breath stung in his still human throat. Nostrils felt like cold flames spewed from them with every breath. He stopped to let his lungs catch up when he felt something bump his arm. Something human.

"Ah!" he turned quick, but he saw nothing. What he heard, made his heard pound. Brother Blood's maniacal laugh echoed around him. He looked in all directions but could not find the source. With a glance at his arm, he saw the blinking red dot. Right behind him.

Before he could turn around, he was shot forward, by a blow only put out by Blood's two forefingers. The Cult leader stepped forward as Cyborg lifted himself from the snow, saying "Is that all ya got?"

Brother Blood Laughed. "Is that all _you_ got?" he mocked the oldest Titan. To him, this was a piece of cake.

A shout of rage escaped Cyborg's lips as he charged for Blood. The villain merely stepped aside, sending the teen into a snow drift. Cy cursed under his breath, frustrated at his lack of accuracy due to the weather.

Blood turned to face the boy. His red velvet shirt blowing harshly in the wind. "I hope you have no regrets Cyborg." He smiled.

Cy stood up to his full height, taller than his enemy before him. "Why would I have any regrets?" he asked in reply, biding his time as he charged up with Sonic Cannon.

"Because, life is too short to have any regrets." the man smirked as the Cannon dinged, telling Cyborg it was ready to fire. "Yours in particular." he added, feeling giddy.

Cyborg fired the cannon, or at least he thought he did. He stood looking dumbfounded and wide eyed. He pulled his arm close to check the error and that was it. His last movement. From miles away the explosion could be seen. The mushroom cloud was only settling as Brother Blood casually walked away, towards his next victim.

**AN: sorry, it took me a while to get into character, and get the courage to actually write it. hope it's not that bad. oh, and i also blame that stupid error. **


	21. Letter 18

( February 9th)

Dear Reader,

Have you ever been involved in an intervention? Or better yet, the one being intervented? It's horrible, I don't ever suggest it. Though I think a victim of an intervention has no choice to be involved or not. At least, I didn't have a choice.

It really sucks when your only friends left in life lock you in a room, sit you in a chair, and surround you like the knights of the round table. I thought they were gonna eat me. It's the most logical thing that came to my mind at the moment.

Of course, being my new self (if that's what you could call it) I refused to answer any of their questions. At least, the one's about the past. I hate the past. Everything about it. Especially the happy moments. They're pointless. Get your hopes up for a happy future then it's ripped away. By shards of glass, explosions and horrible thing's I'd rather not talk about.

This is why I come to you. Though you cannot respond, even the small thought of you reading these letters helps. It keeps me from hurting myself. Maybe someday I'll give you a return address.

Wow, I'm off subject.

Back to my horrible experience. At one point I got up to leave and Roy pinned me down. Even though Karen was yelling at him to stop, he held me down tight. He really wanted to know about what happened that night. It brought tears to my eyes. I like to tell myself that I forced the tears. No one needs a baby.

When Roy saw my tears he backed away and apologized. I felt bad and wiped my eyes. I remember telling him it was ok, but after that It's a little fuzzy. I guess I gave in to their pressure and told them everything. I have noticed that Garth looks at me different. I think he feels bad for me.

I _hate_ when people feel bad for me.

Yours Truly,

Gar

**AN: sorry this took me so long. i had little confidence in myself that i could write something worth reading. than i tried drawing and that failed. so i had to do something. :) you guys got lucky.**


	22. Letter 19

( February 14th)

Dear Reader,

Valentine's day…

I suppose you could say this is the worst part of the year. I never have a date, and usually the people around me are all making out and exchanging chocolate. As much as I love chocolate myself, I refuse to eat it on a day when it either represents love or pathetic loneliness.

But today was different. None of my friends have dates, though Roy claims he has three. With nothing to do we went out to help around. Maybe walk some old lady across the street or something.

Unfortunately for me we ran into an old "friend." Five of them to be exact. But it was the one who really got me upset. He's small and obnoxious; like a little cousin you wish you weren't related to. He knew my friends who died, and possibly laughed when he heard about their deaths.

Today he wouldn't shut up about them. He teased me till I snapped: making fun of them, mentioning in detail how their bodies were found. All the while laughing about it. I think after what I did to him he won't be laughing for a while.

I freaked out on him. Tackled him down and beat the living hell out of him. Punch after punch. I'm amazed I didn't black out. Eventually Karen and Roy pulled me off the little guy. What I really remember after is walking back home, staring al the blood stains on my hands.

Yours Truly,

Gar

**AN: hope you guys like.**


	23. And So It Begins

January 1st

Val looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, carefully moving his blonde hair from his eyes. He looked at his own eyes for a long time. The feeling came back again and he leaned over the toilet bowl and vomited for the third time.

He assumed it was food poisoning. Subway dinners 4 nights in a row wasn't the only stupid mistake he's made.

After washing his mouth out he stepped out of the small bathroom into the living room. He stepped quietly as to not wake his sister. Tara was passed out on the couch, TV on and remote in hand. Val brushed the popcorn from her shirt and covered her with a blanket. He flicked off the TV and headed to his room.

When he entered his room he noticed that he had left his mask out. Just the night before, he finally went out to have some fun since the death of his Rival Titans. He was well aware that one of them still remained, though he had no idea where he was.

He walked over to his bed and picked up the mask. With his thumbs he felt over the white fabric, against black. The red x shown vividly in the dim light. With his right index finger he felt along the x. for once he did not feel the rush of adrenaline, the feeling of Xynothium so close to his body; running a vibe through his veins. There was no thrill.

Placing the mask gently in his top drawer, he laid in his bed and kicked off his shoes. He closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep.

_When he opened his eyes he could only see black. He could not move. A wave a panic washed over him. Then he noticed a dim white light coming into view. It slowly took the shape of a skull. In an instant he recognized it. But the x was gone._

_His vision faded into white. He heard harsh winds and noticed the light gray sky, clouded with blizzard snow. Wiggling his toes, he realized that he could move and that he was standing. He turned to see more and was surprised to see Robin._

_The black haired boy was looking down. He slowly lifted his gaze to Val. Along with his head he rose his arms. His green gloves were gone for once. Val looked closer and saw what Robin wanted him to see. Two bloody x's slit his wrists; one on each wrist. They dripped the brightest red into the snow at the Boy Wonder's feet. _

**AN: two chapters in one day. you guys better be happy. **


	24. Letter 20

(February 20th)

Dear Reader,

I'm sorry it's been so long since I wrote you. I've had alot on my mind lately. One thing that I can't seem to forget are simple things about Kori. There are rediculous things I won't waste your time on but lately even going to the mall reminds me of her.

I have left Karen and the others. Being around them made things difficult. I know all they wanted to do was help me but I feel I need to spend some time on my own.

What triggered my leaving was the memory of Kori. The night before I left I dreamt of her, nothing special. She was just there with me, as we sat together watching World Of Fungus or some other show she loved. I woke up that morning and for the rest of the day I saw her face everywhere, so I had to leave. I

left a note for the others so they wouldn't worry, but I didn't tell them where I was going. I am determined to get back home and search my old house for.. for what? Relief from this tragedy?

I feel like I am needed back home even if I am returning alone.

Yours Truly,  
Gar

**Wow it's been a long time since i posted. Finally getting back into the habit of wanting to continue this story.**


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